Reviewed by Stuart O'Connor
Stars Nadia Farès, Robert Taylor, John Brumpton,
David Lyons, Mathew Wilkinson, Jonathan Oldham
Written by Everett De Roche
Produced by Pete Ford & Ann Darrouzet
UK certification 18 | UK RRP £15.99
DVD Region 2 | Runtime 82 minutes
Directed by Jamie Blanks
Aussie director Jamie Blanks made a bit of a splash with Urban Legend back in 1998, which garnered OK reviews and decent enough box office bling to lead to two sequels. Blanks was dubbed "the next big thing" in horror. Next came Valentine, a so-so slasher flick that sank pretty quickly. Now Blanks is back with a boring, derivitive mess that will quickly lead to people asking the question: "Jamie who?"
Storm Warning is so bad that it hasn't had a general theatrical release anywhere in the world — last year it did the horror festival circuit, and now it's lucky to even get a DVD release. In a setup that drags on way too long, we meet our "heroes" — Rob (Taylor) and Pia (Farès), a married couple from Melbourne who go out boating for a day. They get caught in a storm, and end up lost on an isolated island and make their way to what appears to be an isolated farmhouse. But it turns out that the house is not uninhabited after all (who would have guessed?) but is home to a rather nasty trio or dope growers — a vile father and his two inbred sons — who also turn out to be killers. Now there's a surprise. Long story short, the bad guys want to rape Pia and torture Rob, while couple just want to get away in one piece. It's a derivitive little film (The Hills Have Eyes, Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Wrong Turn for starters) that really brings nothing fresh to the genre. The trio of nasties are just walking, slobbering cliches, while the two leads display absolutely no chemistry, which makes them hard to believe as a married couple. This is a film to be avoided at all costs.
EXTRAS Some "behind the scenes" video and interviews with three of the cast members — Brumpton, Lyons and Wilkinson. Taylor and Farès must have been too embarrassed to take part.