Reviewed by Neil Davey
Stars Gerard Butler, Tom Wilkinson, Thandie Newton, Idris Elba, Jeremy Piven,
Matt King, Tom Hardy, Mark Strong, Karel Roden, Jimi Mistry | Written by Guy Ritchie
UK certification 15 | UK RRP £26.99 | DVD Region 2 | Runtime 114 minutes | Directed by Guy Ritchie
Gor blimey, lawd luv a duck, it’s a new Guy Richie movie and no mistake. Let’s ‘ave a jar at the rub-a-dub and a proper Cock-er-nee knees-up to fackin’ celebrate. Me ol' China.
Bad news first? This isn’t the classic, best-Guy-Richie-film-ever so many people were hoping for. Yes, it’s better than Revolver and Swept Away but so is having haemorrhoids so let’s forget those particular benchmarks shall we? Guy Richie movies have to be compared to the funny, smart, visceral, stylish thrills of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Them's the rules.
So the good news? Between the convoluted plot, the ludicrous dialogue — seriously, has he ever even been to the East End? — the ridiculous holes and the astonishingly pretentious moments, there are flashes of brilliance. Best of these is a sex scene between Gerard Butler’s small-time crook One Two and Thandie Newton’s femme fatale Stella which is over in about three seconds and six jump cuts, but overall there are more than enough reminders that, actually, Richie’s a bloody good storyteller.
Which is just as well because plot is not something that's in short supply. One Two and his sidekick Mumbles (Elba) have been screwed on a property deal by major London mobster Lenny Cole (a strangely out-of-sorts Wilkinson) and his pocket councillor (Jimi Mistry). Meanwhile, Lenny is ‘lending’ his property expertise to Russian billionaire Uri (Karel Roden) in return for a cool seven million Euros in cash. He’s also trying to track down his rumoured-to-be-dead junkie rockstar stepson Johnny Quid (Toby Kebbell) with the help of right hand man Archy (the excellent Strong). Then there’s sly accountant Stella, who’s trying to get her cut with the help of One Two and that bag full of Euros. And a couple of Americans (Piven, Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges) attempting to break into the London club scene. Not to mention Uri’s missing lucky picture, One Two’s mate Handsome Bob (Hardy) coming out of the closet, two indestructible Russian hoodlums, and a quest to find the identity of a London supergrass.
Ignoring the obvious — less is more, Guy, less is more — while the story doesn’t add up to a classic, there are many classic moments: One Two’s inability to find reverse in a stolen getaway car, for example, a sports store face-off against the Russian hoods, the legend of the ‘Archy Slap’ or even One Two and Stella’s odd dance sequence.
Against these though, you’ve got the ‘comedy’ homosexual moments (seriously, this is the 21st Century, right?), snarled, bordering-on-the-incomprehensible dialogue, daft cheeky chappy slang up the wazoo, and moments that make no sense. Johnny Quid for example. He’s a huge selling rockstar who’s just faked his own death. He’s an enigma, a mystery, and nobody knows where he is. Except the regulars in the pub he goes to. Or the people in the caff he frequents. Or, indeed, the hundreds of people outside a nightclub who watch him attack, and apparently kill, a bouncer with the help of a sharpened pencil. Er…
Does it make much sense? Not entirely. Is it entertaining though? Yeah, it is and the dialogue, for all its nonsense, is full of energy and remains highly quotable. Rocknrolla is not Guy Richie's full return to form then, but it's certainly a major step back in the right direction.
EXTRAS *** A pretty decent collection of goodies, guvna. For a start, you get an extra copy of the film — a digital download for your computer, iPod or other mobile device. Which is not a bad deal at all. On the disc itself, there is an audio commentary with Ritchie and Strong, a single deleted scene and a pair of behind-the-scenes featurettes — Blokes, Birds and Backhanders: Inside RocknRolla; plus Guy's Town, in which we're told all about the film's locations.