Reviewed by Stuart O'Connor
Stars Antonio Banderas, Meg Ryan, Colin Hanks, Selma Blair,
Thomas Joseph Adams, Norm MacDonald, Aki Avni, Enrico Colantoni | Written by George Gallo
UK certification 12 | UK RRP £12.99 | DVD Region 2 | Runtime 78 minutes | Directed by George Gallo
Every now and then, even the biggest stars make complete and utter turkeys. Case in point: this steaming pile of dull, unfunny, tedious and moronic shit that was so bad they had to change its name before it was allowed to leave the United States, to be released directly to DVD. Except somebody forgot to change the closing credits, because the original title — My Mom's New Boyfriend — is there for all to see. And to make matters worse, on the preview disc that I was sent, the words "Mom's New Boyfriend" have been crossed out and the word "Spy" written in. So it must have been a real last-minute title change!
Enough about the title. What about the film? After sitting through the absolute torture that is its 78 minute running time, I was left with one burning question: doesn't anyone in Hollywood bother to read scripts any more? Because if they did, then garbage like this would not get made. We're asked to believe that Hanks is an FBI agent. Who lives with his gross, obese mother (Ryan in a bad fat suit). Who goes away "to work in the field" for three years, and then comes back and is surprised to see that his mum has slimmed down and is now a total hotty. Where was he working, on another planet? Because that's the only way I could believe that he wojuldn't at leasdt telephone his mother once in a while. And in three years, wouldn't he visit her at least once? He's in the FBI, not the CIA. They don't actually go overseas.
So that's the basic setup, but it doesn't get any better. Hanks (who brings new meaning to the word "bland") is distredded that his mother is now dating men younger than him. But he's even more distressed when she starts dating Tommy (Banderas), who turns out to be an international art thief. So the FBI get him to spy on his mother (and yes, the words "conflict of interest" never once rear their pretty little heads). Hilarity fails to ensue. There is absolutely no chemistry among any of the cast. Ryan has had way too much plastic surgery to look hot. And Blair (who plays' Hanks' fiance, and is also an FBI agent) is given so little to do that it's shameful. Whatever you do, just give this complete mess a wide berth.
EXTRAS * A bunch of deleted scenes and a "making of" that is nothing more than the actors talking about how great they all are.