Review by Doug Cooper
Stars Tiffany, Paul Logan, Barry Williams, David Labiosa, Jude Gerard Prest, Jesse Daly, Cooper Harris, William Morse, Lola Forsberg, Jillian Easton
Written by Eric Forsberg
Certification UK 15 | US R
Runtime 90 minutes
Directed by Eric Forsberg
From the same stable that brought you last year's Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus comes this cheapo stinker. Are you a glutton for punishment? If so, then trot along to see this sorry exercise in deliberately bad moviemaking. The film-makers know they're churning out trash but they do it with barefaced energy. It's certainly fast moving and with zippy editing but after a while it becomes very trying indeed.
Do you really want to know the plot? What's the matter with you? Isn't the title enough? A US government special agent (Logan) is assigned a mission to the Amazon to find out who has killed some bigwigs on the river. It turns out that the perpetrators are a mutant strain of the deadly fish – a strain that causes them to grow bigger and bigger, threatening their way towards Florida. 80s pop star Tiffany is on hand as a scientist responsible for the mishap and is all out to do her best at righting her mistake. Can she and Logan save the planet in time? After all, these fishy critters are big enough to demolish buildings and gobble up helicopters.
For the first half hour the straightfaced playing, cliched dialogue and ultra shoddy special effects are indeed fun, inducing the odd giggle, but 90 minutes is way too long to sustain this attempt at cretinous creativity. By the end your energy is sapped and all hope is lost. This played on the Syfy cable channel in the US, where presumably there were commercial breaks to alleviate the relentless boredom. No such luck in a paying picture house. Wait for it to come out on DVD, when you can at least pause every 10 minutes or so to do something far more constructive. Even though the participants are aware that they're making crap, it's still crap nonetheless.