Review by Doug Cooper
Stars Tiffany, Paul Logan, Barry Williams, David Labiosa, Jude Gerard Prest,
Jesse Daly, Cooper Harris, William Morse, Lola Forsberg, Jillian Easton | Written by Eric Forsberg
UK certification 15 | UK RRP £9.99 | DVD Region 2 | Runtime 90 minutes | Directed by Eric Forsberg
Do you really want to know the plot? What's the matter with you? Isn't the title enough? A US government special agent (Logan) is assigned a mission to the Amazon to find out who has killed some bigwigs on the river. It turns out that the perpetrators are a mutant strain of the deadly fish – a strain that causes them to grow bigger and bigger, threatening their way towards Florida. 80s pop star Tiffany is on hand as a scientist responsible for the mishap and is all out to do her best at righting her mistake. Can she and Logan save the planet in time? After all, these fishy critters are big enough to demolish buildings and gobble up helicopters.
For the first half hour the straightfaced playing, cliched dialogue and ultra shoddy special effects are indeed fun, inducing the odd giggle, but 90 minutes is way too long to sustain this attempt at cretinous creativity. By the end your energy is sapped and all hope is lost. This played on the Syfy cable channel in the US, where presumably there were commercial breaks to alleviate the relentless boredom. At least on DVD, you can pause every 10 minutes or so to do something far more constructive. Even though the participants are aware that they're making crap, it's still crap nonetheless.
EXTRAS ★½ A 10-minute making-of featurette; a three-minute blooper reel; the theatrical trailer. Interesting trivia note: the two characters who appear topless on the boat are not actresses, but are in fact prostitues hired for the day because the producers could not find any actresses willing to bare their breasts.