A working man with real class
Meet Kenny Smyth, a humble Melbourne plumber who has been flushed ... sorry, thrust ... onto the world stage thanks to the success of a documentary about his life and work. While Kenny was in London to promote the film, and before he headed to Germany to begin filming a new TV series, Stuart O'Connor caught up with him over a quiet beer.
Q: Kenny, do you think the film's success is going to change you?
Kenny: I wouldn't think so. I'm not going to get any better clothes than I've got, 'cause this is all I fit in — the old padded tuxedo. I've got a recognisable head, and I think that's what they should call it. I don't think they should use the word celebrity, or star. I think it's a bit weird that they give those people that kind of a name, but I think what they should say is a "recognisable head". I've always found it a bit strange that actors — and they're the worst — once they've got a recognisable head they become someone else.
It's a bit of a pity to find adults out there who aren't happy with who they were before they've got a recognisable head. I've been made into this person by some wonderful people — my mother, bless her soul, and being a father and the impact of bringing a child into the world. That's what forms a person. I'd be incredibly disppointed to find out I'd become someone else just because I've got a recognisable head. It's not an achievement, is it. You haven't achieved anything.
Q: So with the success of the film, you're not tempted to give up the portaloo business and try to become an action star?
Kenny: God no, I have no desire to be an actor. Look, I love what I do. I work with a bunch of people that I really like. I'm blessed, you know. It's like a pub with pay - I'm hanging out with people I like and then I get paid to be there. I work outdoors, I work in a trader I've always worked in. I was raised on a farm, on an orchard, and we had irrigation lines that ran through the farm, and that's how I learned to plumb. So I love it, I've been doing this all my life, and I couldn't ever imagine myself off the tools. It's funny how the world works. At the moment in the eyes of someone else to be an actor would be greater than being a plumber but I think it depends on what you want out of life.
I love working with my hands. It's funny, when everything's running OK, the order of who's important is set a certain way, but I can guarantee you that people would look differently at what I do if there were a natural disaster — a hurricane or, heaven forbid, a tsunami were to hit London right now. Imagine if people started running out of the crowd saying: "It's OK mate, I'm a lawyer." Or an accountant. How much would you give a flying toss? Now imagine if some fool runs out of the crowd and says: "Everyone relax , it's going to be OK, I'm an actor." Now they'd be pretty low on the list of people I'd want running through the crowd when a disaster hits. The two most important things that they need to sort out first are sanitation and fresh water, and guess who looks after that? The plumbers. Let's hope there is no disaster for me to prove my point, but my point is that what I do, in my mind is fairly important — it brings food to the table for me and my son, and it keeps me near my friends. I reckon I've mentioned everything that's important, or should be important, in someone's life — let me know if I've missed something. But I've mentioned friends and family there and they are the gold and silver medallists in the race of life.
Q: How about female attention. Has that gone up since the film came out?
Kenny: If it has, I'm not going to pay any attention to it. I don't think women are in a rush to get to me. Women do rush to me when they need more paper in a cubicle at a festival — then they look towards me pretty fondly — but I've got one very special lady and I do think I'm batting out of my league a bit. I've spent most of my life playing more hard to want than hard to get, and that's been working beautifully to date.
Q: And how is your dad? Last time we saw him his was due to have surgery.
Kenny: Well, the operation was a success, in some peoples' eyes — he's still alive. We've still got our love/hate relationship — he loves to hate me and I hate the fact that I love him so much. He's my dad, and you only get one of those. That's how it works, there is no arguing this point. A lot of people do ask me how I feel about the way my dad and me get along, about the relationship, if you can call it that. The way dad treats me is tough, but I'd rather have a father who's constantly compaining about what I'm doing, and going, "I want you to do better for yourself, son," or, "I want you to get a better job." I'd rather have that than a father who didn't care at all. The day he stops telling me he wants me to do better is the day I really will be upset.
Q: Is there going to be a sequel? Will we see a Kenny Number Two?
Kenny: I would hope not. There's a TV series — there's a travel show we're doing, heading off round the world for a couple of months. I head off to Munich next week. That will air in Australia next year, on Channel 10. As far as the sequel ... imagine if you had a grandmother and she was a great lady that everyone really enjoyed, that everyone had a soft spot for. And she passed away. Imagine if everyone went, "We really liked your grandmother, she was a top lady." Are you gonna go and buy another one? I’d go, "How about we just remember the one we had, 'ey? 'Cause she was good. Let’s not replace her. Let’s not get another made and forget how good the first one was." So I’m pretty happy with the grandmother we had, and if people like the film Kenny, I reckon that’s good enough. Plus I can’t be runnin’ round with a film crew to make another movie. We’ll leave that to actors — they’re the ones that like havin' their big heads up there on the big screen, we know what they’re like. Poor bastards.
• Kenny, the movie, is now showing across the UK. Read our review HERE
• Kenny's Toilet Tour will screen on Australia's Channel 10 next year