Review by Tom Roberts
Stars Yôsuke Eguchi, Takao Osawa, Ryôko Hirosue, Jun Kaname, Gori, Mikijiro Hira, Masatô Ibu, Tetsuji Tamayama, Eiji Okuda, Choi Hong Man, Susumu Terajimax
Written by Kazuaki Kiriya & Tetsurô Takita
Certification Australia MA | South Korea 15
Runtime 128 minutes
Directed by Kazuaki Kiriya
Bonkers. If there’s one word that sums up Goemon, it’s bonkers. From start to finish, Goemon is one long sequence of gravity-defying action, hyperactive camera-work and colour-drenched cinematography played out by absurd caricature characters. And what a blast it is to watch.
Goemon is a Master Thief loosely based on the legendary bandit from Japanese history: think Robin Hood with a samurai sword instead of a stick and some kick ass martial arts skills to boot and you get the picture. After his parents are killed as he watches on as a wee tot, Goemon is adopted and trained to become a samurai warrior by Japan’s ruling general. But when the general is killed, Goemon’s world is turned upside-down and eventually he becomes a man of the people, stealing from the rich and redistributing the wealth. During one raid on the aristocracy, Goemon stumbles upon a Pandora’s box and the secrets contained within hint towards truths about his own past, hidden until now. And so Goemon – with his reluctant, bumbling servant – set out to unravel the truth behind the General’s death.
As the plot twists and turns and the stakes raise higher and higher, the action becomes more and more grandiose, frequently and happily spilling over into the realms of plain ludicrous. Goemon goes from evading a room full of henchmen by hopscotching off their spears to climbing the inside of a feudal skyscraper in about six superhuman leaps to scything down entire armies single-handedly.
Video games have had a clear influence on the director too: one shot sees Goemon skipping along rooftops dispatching henchmen and dodging bombs as in a 2D platformer, and in one showdown with his nemesis-come-brother the action is framed like a bout of Street Fighter, just lacking the health bars.
In among all of this mania there’s time for a threesome, some cheeky one-liners, a choreographed dance in a brothel and for Goemon to reignite the fire of an old flame. Somehow, the film does manage to lag a bit during the second act, but the finale is sufficiently bombastic to make up for the lull. Goemon is like watching live-action manga while stuck in a washing machine, off your nut on LSD. One burly seven-foot bloke has a sword even longer and chunkier than him and that in itself makes Goemon awesome.