Reviewed by Rhianna Pratchett
Stars Jennifer Barnett, Angela Brunda, Danielle Lilley, Sandra Paduch, Mia Yi, Veronica Garcia
UK certification 18 | UK RRP £15.99 | DVD Region x | Runtime 94 minutes
Written by Greg Swinson & Marshall Hicks | Directed by Greg Swinson & Ryan Thiessen
I really applaud emerging horror film teams trying to do something new with the genre. Something a little different that hasn’t been seen before — and it always feels like that there’s precious little left that’s not already been splashed across our screens. Certainly Five Across the Eyes sets out to do this.
It’s about “Five hot young teenagers” (at least that’s what the press release tells me) heading home from a football game in a people carrier, who get lost in an area known as the Eyes (a name that’s only referenced fleeting in the movie). The ladies find themselves being chased by a mysterious pursuer after they flee the scene of a very minor car accident. Now where it really gets original is that the movie is shot entirely from inside the van. It’s both a high concept and low budget idea that actually works surprisingly well, as you’re made to feel like the 6th passenger on the journey. And, as is established fairly on, the movie also has a female antagonist (Garcia) — a sort of soccer mom merged with a rabid Ruby Wax. Another pretty interesting concept, brimming with potential.
Sadly, the movie doesn’t work more often than it does. The small cast have varying degrees of acting ability and largely work best when they’re not speaking much. The “natural” dialogue feels forced, poorly written and poorly delivered, at least at the start. It does get better towards the end, but the characters are so interchangeable that it’s hard to care too much. Sandra Paduch — who plays Isabella, the driver of the ill-fated fan — is the only one that stood out for me and has a touch of the Emily Perkins (Ginger Snaps) about her. The script is over-written and ropey. Garcia in particular wheels out every cliché killer line in the book. It’s also full of continuity errors, with characters being on the edge of death one minute and running around the next. The sound mixing is abysmal and a lot of the time the girls are crying, shouting, grizzling and flapping so much you can’t actually hear what’s being said. The camerawork in terms of angles and pacing is pretty good, although the visuals themselves are very cheap and nasty. Sometimes grainy and faded isn’t edgy and cool, it’s just grainy and faded. Five Across the Eyes has a few small merits to it, so directors Greg Swinson and Ryan Thiessen could well be worth keeping an eye on in the future. In a few years this will undoubtedly be ripe for a Hollywood remake and, I can’t believe I’m say this, but would probably be the better for it.
EXTRAS * Just more of the same: behind the scenes featurette and some deleted scenes.