Review by Justin Bateman
Stars Maxwell Caulfield, John Rhys Davies, Tony Amendola, Angel Boris | Written by Patrick Phillips & Sam Wells
UK certification 15 | UK RRP £14.99 | DVD Region 2 | Runtime 88 minutes | Directed by Stephen Furst
Two kings, Fastrad and Wednesbury are feuding. But rivalry over land is overshadowed by a new and previously thought only to be mythical menace – dragons. Yes, the medieval English/American/Chinese characters are about to get caught up in... a dragon storm!
On reading the press notes, I was convinced that Fastrad and Wednesbury were types of cheese, from Denmark and England respectively. Apparently not, but this would have been immeasurably more interesting had that been the plot for this woeful effort. It perhaps won’t come as a surprise that it was made for TV on a low budget and it shows. The special effects are pretty hopeless while the script is anodyne in the extreme.
When the kings join forces to defeat the dragons, a huntsman played by Maxwell Caulfield (formerly of TV’s The Colbys and sporting a horrific fright wig) leads a small band of dragon slayers. These include Woon Young Park as Ling and Angel Boris as Medina, Wednesbury’s beautiful crossbow-wielding daughter. Boris, in case you haven’t heard of her, is a former Playboy model, and very nearly shows off her two main assets but in the end her hair covers her modesty. And by modesty, I mean tits. I mention this not merely for comic effect but also because it sums up the film as a whole. As it’s made for television, there’s some violence, but not enough to sate the gorehounds, some dragon action, but not enough for the Lord of the Rings fans, and too little nudity to please those looking for titillation.
Dragon Storm isn’t completely without merit – John Rhys Davies is perfectly fine as King Fastrad and the best thing in it by a mile. But in the main it’s a totally by-numbers production of swords and dragons, fiery explosions and people falling over dramatically, occasionally in slow motion. Even if you’re a very easily pleased 12-year-old boy, you’ll more than likely find this derivative, unoriginal and instantly forgettable.
EXTRAS None