Review by Adam Stephen Kelly
Stars Eric Balfour, Iva Hasperger, Aaron Diaz, Humberto Busto, Roger Corman, Richard Miller, Guillermo Ivan, Liv Boughn, Christina Nicole, Adam Finer, Dan Golden, Jack Everest Hite | Written by Frances Doel & Guy Prevost
UK Certification 15 | UK RRP £9.99 | DVD Region 2 | Runtime 90 minutes | Directed by Kevin O'Neill
Step aside, Sharktopus, 'cause the Dinoshark has arrived and it's waited 150 million years for this. Similarly, I feel like I'll be ready for another viewing in about 150 million years.
Yes, the legendary Roger Corman is back in producing and acting capacities along with his wife for Dinoshark, starring Eric Balfour, Syfy's latest original movie to hit the UK home entertainment market. The same Eric Balfour who had roles in 24, Six Feet Under and the surprisingly decent The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake from a few years ago. But as well as Dinoshark, his recent filmography includes Skyline. Hmm, someone get the man a new agent, pronto.
When global warming results in the melting of glacial ice in Alaska, a baby plesiosaur-cum-shark is unleashed and travels the world, getting bigger and bigger. It eventually finds its way down to Mexico – specifically a beach resort – where, as you would expect, it wreaks havoc, devouring tourists, swimmers, para-gliders and whatever else it can sink its mammoth teeth into. Enter boatman Trace McGraw (Balfour), who returns to the resort just in time for the arrival of the Dinoshark. With the monster taking the life of one of his friends, he sets his sights on eliminating the prehistoric fish before it can lay waste to any more lives, especially with the annual summer regatta on the horizon.
As you can tell, it's a familiar plot that owes a lot more than just one reference to Jaws (“You're gonna need a bigger chopper”), but with some respect to Sharktopus – yes, I said respect – the film is pretty much a carbon copy with a new kind of killer. It's even set in Mexico, too. The only real difference is that Sharktopus knew exactly how goofy it was and was incredibly self-referential. Contrarily, Dinoshark is the complete opposite and is, for the most part, played straight. When you've got a low-budget creature feature with a bad script and cast, the last thing people want to see is a story that's depicted in a serious light.
This is a film with no redeeming qualities and I doubt that even having a few friends round and a cooler full of beer will make it in any way enjoyable.
EXTRAS None.