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Armchair Viewing: The Beach (2000)

Posted by Justin Bateman | Sun, 17/01/2010 - 11:06

Richard, this is just the kind of pretentious bullshit that Americans always say to French girls so they can sleep with them.

What’s it about?
A young American called Richard (Leonardo DiCaprio) travels to Thailand in search of whatever it is young people who travel go in search of. Unexpectedly he comes into possession of a map which apparently is the location of a virtually unknown tropical paradise. On finding it, he discovers that he's by no means the first and joins the incumbent commune for a life of leisure and pleasure. But it's not long before it all starts to go horribly wrong.

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Armchair Viewing: Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

Posted by Justin Bateman | Sat, 16/01/2010 - 12:32

Now these are very silly little boots, Jones, and this is a very silly little dress. And these are – fuck me – absolutely enormous pants.

What’s it about?
A thirty-something perennially single woman living in London resolves to change her life for the better by starting a diary, erasing her numerous bad habits, and finding an appropriate man. However, standing in her way are her meddlesome mother, her tendency for public humiliation, and one very inappropriate man.

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Armchair Viewing: Trainspotting (1996)

Posted by Justin Bateman | Fri, 15/01/2010 - 10:20

Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

What’s it about?
Mark Renton is a heroin addict living in Edinburgh. He wants to get clean and start his life again. But most of his friends are also drug addicts or criminals or both, which makes life very challenging indeed.

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Armchair Viewing: Shallow Grave (1994)

Posted by Justin Bateman | Thu, 14/01/2010 - 08:56

I've never seen a dead body before. I saw my grandmother of course, but I don't think that counts. I mean, she was alive at the time.

What’s it about?
Three friends sharing a house have a spare room and after interviewing a number of unusual prospective tenants settle on the most normal one. However, a couple of days after moving in, there has been no sign of him so they go into his room to investigate. To their horror they find their new flatmate dead. But to their collective intrigue they also find a suitcase full of cash. Do they tell the police and hand in the money? Do they heck.

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Armchair Viewing: Slumdog Millionaire (2009)

Posted by Justin Bateman | Wed, 13/01/2010 - 13:11

When somebody asks me a question, I tell them the answer.

What’s it about?
Jamal, a teaboy at a phone company in Mumbai, is on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and, astonishingly, is just one answer away from winning the top prize. In fact, it's too astonishing for anyone to believe and he is duly arrested on suspicion of cheating. As he watches a re-run of the show, he's asked to explain to the police how he knows the answers. It soon becomes apparent that Jamal is not really on the show to win the money but in the hope that his childhood sweetheart, with whom he is desperately trying to get back together, will see the show and find him.

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There Is No Plan B

Posted by Neil Davey | Tue, 12/01/2010 - 11:41

I believe the word is "woot". Or, possibly, "gah" depending on how much you loved the original series and how much you suspect Hollywood may have ballsed it up. Yep, it's the official A-Team trailer. Forget the grainy, bad quality leak of last week, here it is in all its shiny glory. 

Will it rock? Will it suck? We have no idea, but Liam Neeson as George Peppard can't be bad. And any trailer that finishes with a tank on parachutes shooting down a plane is alright in our book.

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Armchair Viewing: The Green Mile (1999)

Posted by Justin Bateman | Tue, 12/01/2010 - 09:01

People hurt the ones they love. That's how it is all around the world.

What’s it about?
Paul Edgcomb (Tom Hanks) recounts his time as a prison guard at Louisiana's Cold Mountain Penitentiary where convicted killer John Coffey (Michael Clarke Duncan) has a supernatural gift of healing.

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Armchair Viewing: a selection

Posted by Justin Bateman | Mon, 11/01/2010 - 14:12

I'm adopting a new approach to Armchair Viewing today which I'm calling 'blind recommendations'. I haven't seen any of them (I don't think) but on the whole, I think they've received decent reviews.  

First up is Traffic (10pm-12.50am, Five), Steven Soderbergh's multi-Oscar-winning adaptation of the TV mini series. Starring Benicio del Toro and Micahel Douglas, this look at the drugs trade is actually beginning to feel familiar now that I'm writing about it. Hmm. Maybe I have seen it after all. Anyway, it's bound to be a hard-hitting drama. Probably.

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Armchair Viewing: The Incredibles (2004)

Posted by Justin Bateman | Sun, 10/01/2010 - 13:57

"No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes!"

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
Living a quiet life in suburbia, the Parrs seem like any other family. But they are far from ordinary and Bob and his wife Helen were once superheroes until a series of lawsuits sent all the heroes into hiding. Then one day, Bob receives a mysterious call summoning him to a dangerous assignment on a remote island. Desperate to get back to his original calling, Bob goes and before long Helen and his superhero children are also involved.

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Armchair Viewing: The Day of the Jackal (1973)

Posted by Justin Bateman | Sat, 09/01/2010 - 13:56

"Half a million. In cash. Half in advance, and half on completion."

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
A professional hitman known only as 'The Jackal' is hired to assassinate French president Charles de Gaulle.

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