"Get some rest, Pam. You look tired."
What's it about?
Having escaped the attentions of the US authorities, Jason Bourne is now living a quiet life in India with his girlfriend. But as he suspected all along, this peaceful existence cannot last forever and an attempt on his life changes everything - forcing him back on the run and reigniting his passion for discovering his past, the details of which are still locked in his amnesiac head.
"'From Hell'. Well, at least they got the address right."
What's it about?
Johnny Depp's Cockney cop hunts down Jack tha Rippa in Victorian Landan, so 'e does, squire.
Three films caught my eye in today's listings and they're all well worth a mention.
First up is Flash Gordon (5.45pm-8pm, ITV4), starring Sam Jones as the eponymous. Who? Yeah, doesn't matter. The supporting cast boasts Max von Sydow as Ming the Merciless, Brian Blessed as Prince Vultan, Topol, Timothy Dalton and even Peter Duncan from Blue Peter. It's gloriously camp and colourful and the special effects are pretty laughable by today's standards but it's tons of fun and the Queen theme tune is great.
"Tell no one. They’re watching."
What's it about?
A doctor, still attempting to recover from his wife’s brutal and devastating murder eight years ago, suddenly finds himself at the centre of the reopened investigation when new evidence comes to light. But whilst desperately trying to prove his innocence he receives a strange email suggesting that his wife may in fact still be alive.
"Someday – and that day may never come – I’ll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day accept this justice as a gift on my daughter’s wedding day."
What's it about?
When the ageing head of a New York crime family is gunned down by rival mobsters, it falls on the youngest and most unlikely of his sons to avenge the attack and secure the family’s position, setting him up for the kind of criminal future that the young war hero had previously planned to evade.
On the long road, friendship is everything.
What's it about?
Wendy Carroll (Michelle Williams) is driving to Alaska in the hope of finding work. Her car won’t start, and then she gets arrested for trying to steal a tin of dog food thanks to a jobsworth shop assistant who’s keen to “set an example”. Nobody listens when she protests that her dog, Lucy, is tethered outside the shop. When she returns, Lucy has gone, and Wendy discovers it will cost a fortune to fix the car.
"Nobody puts Baby in a corner."
What's it about?
A teenage girl goes to a holiday camp with her parents and falls in love with the site dance teacher. You can guess the rest.
By Toby Weidmann
"Cock it!"
What's it about?
When the zombie apocalypse finally arrives, Shaun (Simon Pegg) leads his best mate (Nick Frost), his mum (Penelope Wilton), his ex-girlfriend (Kate Ashfield) and her friends (The Office's Lucy Davis and Black Book's Dylan Moran) to the safest place in London – er, the pub.
"Hasta la vista, baby."
What's it about?
With Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) in a mental institution, her son John (Edward Furlong) is living with foster parents while becoming something of a minor criminal himself. The original Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) returns to LA but instead of trying to kill Sarah this time has been reprogrammed to protect John (by his future self, obviously) from the more advanced and seemingly indestructible T-1000 (Robert Patrick).
Johns: How's it look?
Riddick: Looks clear.
[Johns steps forward, and a creature flies out towards them. They duck and it flies into the night]
Johns: You said it was clear!
Riddick: I said it *looked* clear.
Johns: Well, how does it look now?
Riddick: Looks clear.
What's it about?
Criminal Riddick (Vin Diesel) is being transported from one prison to another when the space craft he is travelling in crash lands on a seemingly barren planet. It soon becomes apparent that as well as trying simply to survive the condition, he and the crew of the craft are not alone although quite what they're up against is unclear.
