Big Tits Zombie 3D review (DVD) ★★★

Review by Adam Stephen Kelly
Stars Sola Aoi, Risa Kasumi, Mari Sakurai, Minoru Torihada, Io Aikawa,
Saori Ando, Kaworu Asakusa, Daisuke Iijima, Hachiro Ika, Kenshin Iwakura, Takashi Kakizawa | Written by Takao Nakano
UK Certification 18 | UK RRP £14.99 | DVD Region 2 | Runtime 73 minutes | Directed by Takao Nakano

This charmingly-titled zom-com from Japan is nothing short of incredibly stupid. But in that very much deliberate stupidity lies a kind of outrageous genius that seeps fun. It oozes from the fleshy pores of the undead as they indulge their cannibalistic taste for tender humans. Which in Big Tits Zombie, are a group of beautiful, blissfully-bodied go-go dancers. And yes, they do indeed get their freak on in the third dimension. But to varying degree of success.

As far as the 'story' goes, you couldn't get a leaner cut of plot. It even bears less fat than our skinny stripper heroes (two of whom are real life pornstars), involving said girls discovering a hidden door in the dressing room of the theatre they work at, which leads to a secret staircase that spirals down to an eerie basement full of bizarre ornaments and relics. Amongst the mysterious treasure chest of antiquities lies the Well of Spirits, which the girls believe to be a false 'prop' well, only it's actually a direct route to Hell - and it's spewing out the hungry undead. It's down to the strippers to team up and defeat the evil with whatever they can, be it their martial arts abilities, a katana, or the proverbial whacking great chainsaw.

Asia continues to give birth to the weirdest cinema around and the warped Big Tits Zombie, adapted from a manga series, is a prime example of such madness. It's a wild bloodbath gushing with severed limbs and bouncing “big tits” that you'll either enjoy or absolutely detest. But make no mistake about it, despite its red ocean of technical flaws and shortcomings, the film knows exactly just how dumb it is and plays with your awareness of its idiocy. A zombie-monster puppet with clearly visible strings, anyone? It's self-referential to the point where dialogue actually pokes fun at the movie, and on a couple of occasions when a 3D sequence is but a heartbeat away, characters don their own 3D specs in fourth wall-breaking anticipation.

Speaking of the 3D element, it's used sparingly and to pretty poor effect. The majority of the film is in 2D, which is extremely convenient as it means that you don't have to wear those godforsaken glasses, and when it is time to throw them on, you get a handy five-second countdown so you can get prepared for the gory mayhem to burst out of your television. Or indeed the strippers as they strut their stuff on the dancefloor. The only problem is most of the 3D sequences don't actually work and you're left with an annoying red glow around the mise-en-scene. Regardless, it's entirely up to you whether or not you wish to watch the film three-dimensionally, as the disc comes complete with both 2D and 3D versions.

Love it or hate it, there's no question that Big Tits Zombie is about as serious as a clown in a joke shop, but the riotous circus of humour that makes up this bright blizzard of blood, guts and girls is certainly one for the ages. Oh, and the explanation given for the attack of the living dead is quite frankly hilarious.

EXTRAS ?? Two pairs of branded 3D glasses; an introduction by writer/director Takao Nakano; The Making of Big Tits Zombie; a feature about Terracotta Distribution; What is Terracotta Festival?; a photo gallery; the riotously funny UK and Japanese trailers; and four trailers for other releases from Terracotta.