Week of 24 November 2008
Ray Winstone’s Football Blinders and Blunders ** (Stars Ray Winstone and professional footballers past and present; £19.99; UK 12) Had the cover of this football gaffes and great goals DVD simply read, ‘affordable stocking filler for those lacking ideas’, we could all have nodded sagely (made a mental note of it, for emergencies only you understand) and moved on. Instead, it has the temerity to try tempting us with the presence of professional hardman, diamond geezer and football aficionado Ray Winstone. It needn't have bothered. Like most compilation DVDs, it’s the clips that provide the real entertainment – in an almost hypnotic, ‘I’m only going to watch this for five minutes, oh, look, I’ve watched all 60 minutes’ kind of way. They’ve include a few too many from last season that have yet to acquire classic clip status but there is a decent mix of stars, teams and divisions. And, for maximum enjoyment, fast forward through the bits whenever you see Ray. You’ll thank me for that later. Sweet. No extras — Robert Hull
L’Argent **** (Stars Mary Glory, Brigitte Helm, Yvette Guilbert, Alfred Abel; £22.99; UK cert PG) L’Argent makes the world go around, the world go around … Based on Emile Zola’s novel, silent classic L’Argent – an exposé of the destructive power of money and all the lesser evils that go with it – is still depressingly relevant today. Ironically, as with so many salutary lessons, the film wasn’t a success at the time but has been recognised as a classic with hindsight. This DVD re-issue, as well as being a timely reminder that the current greed issues aren’t anything new, looks dazzling, and features a new accompaniment from Jean–Francois Zygel. Extras: new subtitles, the new soundtrack, a video introduction from Zygel (who also provides a documentary about silent movies), a 40-minute making-of, archive behind-the-scenes footage, screen tests, a 54-minute profile of the director, a demonstration of L’Herbier’s innovative sound recording techniques and an 80-page booklet featuring stills, extracts from the director’s biography, interviews and a long essay by Richard Abel. Got a silent film fan or a banker in the family? This is the present then. — Neil Davey
Merlin: Volume 1, Episodes 1-6 *** (Stars Colin Morgan, Bradley James, Anthony Head, Richard Wilson, Katie McGrath, Angel Coulby; £19.99; UK cert PG) This engaging series is perfectly pitched for its Saturday teatime audience. Where the BBC got it wrong with Bonekickers, by forcing it into a primetime weeknight slot and thinking it was cleverer than it was, with Merlin it has conjured up success through attractive leads, respected thesps and diverting plots.The special FX might not be quite as special as they could, but the show’s enthusiasm – as it follows the young magician Merlin on his journey to and through the mystical court of Camelot – more than carries it through these first six episodes. Perfect TV to eat your beans on toast to. Extras: An entertaining selection with behind the scenes ‘making of’, cast video diaries, audio commentaries from the main cast and crew, wallpapers and photo gallery. — Robert Hull
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Week of 17 November 2008
Brendon Burns Live: So I Suppose THIS is Offensive Now? **** (Stars Brendon Burns, two slutty dancers and an audience; £19.99; UK cert 18) "What is wrong wth British women that you would all fuck Russell Brand?" I've often wondered that myself. And how timely is this? Brendon's act on this DVD — recorded earlier this year — takes plenty of digs at the hairy one who has so recently fallen from grace. Also under attack are fame, reality tv, terrorism, racism, culture — "People get so protective of culture, but I really don't mind taking the piss out of culture ... cos I'm Australian, I don't fucken have one" — homophobia, feminism, relationships and lots, lots more. Yes, Brendon Burns is Australian (born in Perth, in fact, just like me), an Edinburgh Festival if.comedy award winner (this DVD is a recording of a London performance of his award-winning Edinburgh show), and a very, very sharp and funny man. He's also very aggressive, very loud and very, very filthy — barely a sentence goes by that doesn't contain the word fuck. And the one this he does so well is challenge his audience to think, while laughing aloing with him. This is not a DVD to buy for your grandmother for Christmas. But it's definitely worth watching just to see this one woman in the audience, whose name is Sajeela, who doesn't even crack a smile through the whole performance. She sits there looking shocked, petrified, terrified, horrified and mystified. I think she needs to get out more. Extras: just an interview with Burns. — Stuart O'Connor
Star Stories: Series Two ** (Stars Kevin Bishop, Laura Patch, Steve Edge, Dolly Wells, Rhys Thomas, Tom Basden, Daisy Beaumont, Rosalyn Wright; £19.99; UK cert 15) That Star Stories has made it to a second series is testament to the fact that some people, somewhere found the first series funny. Folks are strange, aren’t they? Fortunately, this second outing for the celebrity satire has more gags and a tad more polish, so consequently feels a lot more entertaining. There remains a problem with the concept however, as trying to include enough of the famous tabloid elements of each celebrity’s story reduces the time for jokes and characterisation. Still, at its silly best there’s plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, particularly when a pissed off Dec bemoans having to work with Ant again and ‘do’ the Geordie accent, claiming to be an actor from Kent. The four shows in the series are, Take That Gary Barlow, Tom Cruise, Simon Cowell, and Britney Spears. Extras: Behind the Scenes on each episode, extended scenes and deleted material. — Robert Hull
Ben 10: Race Against Time * (Stars Graham Phillips, Christien Anholt, Lee Majors; £15.99; UK cert PG) My nephew likes Ben 10. He’s four and doesn’t know any better. The rest of the world has no excuse. If this is truly the standard of kids’ TV at the moment, make as much money as you can and head for the hills because, when annoying little sods like my nephew get to vote, the world will end. Possibly. Ben (Phillips, the worst child actor I’ve seen in years) has some alien relic that changes him into assorted planet-defending creatures. Cue action sequences that makes Power Rangers look well made. Dialogue is awful, the jokes — Ben’s parents are modern touchy-feely types, people fall over a lot — are crap, and the only curiosity is why Alex "Bill and Ted" Winter is on board as director. Does he really need the money that badly? Extras: none. As a DVD, it makes a lovely coaster. — Neil Davey
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Week of 10 November 2008
Speed Racer * (Blu-ray; Stars Emile Hirsch, John Goodman, Christina Ricci, Susan Sarandon, Matthew Fox, Roger Allam, Nicholas Elia, Ariel Winter, Scott Porter, Kick Gurry; £27.99; UK cert PG) If ever proof was needed that the Wachowski Brothers are a pair of one-hit wonders, then Speed Racer is it. I was never a huge fan of the 60s cartoon that Speed Racer is based on. That said, this movie doesn't really make me want to go back and acquire a taste for it. It does make me want to travel back in time to buy the Wachowskis' father a packet of condoms. Yes, the film is that bad. It's too long, for a start. And it's much, much too talky — there's so much chatty exposition going on between the race scenes. And the final proof that this is a bad movie? A chimp is one of the main characters. I'm not going to go into the plot in great detail — basically it's about a boy named Speed Racer (I kid you not) who wants to be a race car driver. The blending of live action and computer animation is impressive, but it all feels too false and heartless and at no time does it even attempt to engage the emotions. It's as soulless as it is fast-moving and colourful, and a waste of time and talent. No extras — Stuart O'Connor
It's a Wonderful Life ***** (Stars James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Thomas Mitchell, Henry Travers, Beulah Bondi, Frank Faylen, Ward Bond; £17.99; UK cert U) This is a film that sits in my personal top 10 films of all time. Like a lot of people, it's a film that I watch again every single Christmas. And yes, like a lot of people, I always shed a tear at the moment when Harry Bailey toasts big brother George as: "The richest man in town." It's a Wonderful Life, while as corny and schmaltzy as hell, is also one of the greatest American films ever made. It is, without a shadow of a doubt, a masterpiece. To sum up its theme in a sentence is easy: virtue is its own reward. But there's much, much more to it than that. The plot, for those who've never seen it (and how can you call yourself a film fan if you haven't?), concerns George Bailey (Stewart), who's depressed on Christmas Eve and believes the world would be a better place if he had never been born. So angel Clarence (Travers) is sent down from heaven to show him just what a difference he has made to the lives around him. It's become such an ingrained part of popular culture that few people don't know the story, even if they have never seen it. It's been referenced and parodied countless times, and even remade (badly) as a very fogettable TV movie, called It Happened One Christmas, in 1977. But the Frank Capra original is the only version you would ever want to see. Go on, get a copy and make it an annual event - you'll be glad you did. Extras: the film itself is a nice, crisp digitally remastered version, although it still has a mono soundtrack (film technology has come a long way since 1946). There's also an introduction to the film by Frank Capra Junior, plus a making-of featurette narrated by Tom Bosley (best known as Mr C from TV's Happy Days). — Stuart O'Connor
Brotherhood of Blood *** (Stars Victoria Pratt, Jason Connery, Ken Foree, Sid Haig; £15.99, UK Cert 18) The title is something of a C-move cliché, but Brotherhood of Blood actually has a few things to recommend it. Especially because I watched straight after the diabolical mess that is Uwe Boll’s Seed. The story, about a group of modern-day vampire hunters, is told in a claustrophobic and non-linear way which manages not to become too confusing. There are also some very non-conventional vampire turns in the mix, by the likes of Haig and Foree (even if their teeth do look like they’re made of foam and couldn’t pierce a milk bottle top.) Meanwhile, Kate Hudson lookalike Victoria Pratt nicely fills the kickass heroine role. Okay, so it wraps up on an unsatisfactory cliffhanger, but there are certainly some much needed flashes of style here, which make up for what the film clearly lacks in budget. Extras: Just the trailer. — Rhianna Pratchett
Viva La Diva *** (Stars Katharine Jenkins, Darcy Bussell; £19.99) She’s the award-winning, stunningly beautiful soprano, and she’s the retired prima ballerina. Together they’re… Viva la Diva. Katherine Jenkins and Darcy Bussell teamed up for a tour earlier this year, a celebration of classic arias and show tunes. And they filmed the London O2 dates. Katherine gets to dance (pretty well, as it happens), Darcy gets to sing (hmm, they appear to turn her mic down a lot) and the audience gets the perfect Christmas present for their over-50s relatives. It’s all very slick and around 50% of the population will never tire of looking at Katherine Jenkins but it’s probably only of interest if you were there. Extras: interviews with the two leading ladies, and not a lot else. — Neil Davey
Mrs Merton & Malcolm: The Complete Series **** (Stars Caroline Aherne, Craig Cash; £14.99; UK cert PG) Perhaps overlooked in favour of Aherne’s and Cash’s other sitcom – some show about the Royle Family – Mrs Merton and Malcolm was a short-lived (one series, six episodes) side project. As the title suggests, it took Aherne’s sweetly abrasive elderly chat show hostess and her somewhat pathetic son Malcolm (co-writer Cash) and put them into a domestic setting. And, nearly ten years on, we have a chance to reappraise it. And it’s funny. Often very funny. And dark. Perhaps its subtleties were missed first time out? No extras — Neil Davey
War Requiem * (Stars Sean Bean, Sir Lawrence Olivier, Tilda Swinton, Owen Teale; £19.99; UK cert 12) Derek Jarman. Some hear that name and clap their hands in artwank glee. Others of us hear that name and think ‘well, that’s 92 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.’ War Requiem is a good case in point. It’s Jarman’s take on Benjamin Britten’s choral masterpiece. Accordingly, the music is divine and moving – and renders Jarman’s, pretentious art student-esque silent visuals utterly pointless. Extras: Perfunctory stuff. A commentary from producer Don Boyd (yep, let’s talk over Britten’s score and explain the bleeding obvious visuals, that’ll be a good idea), making of documentary featuring interviews with Tilda Swinton and the rest of the cast. Er, that’s it. — Neil Davey
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Week of 3 November 2008
Jimmy Carr in Concert **** (Stars Jimmy Carr, of course; £19.99; UK cert 18) "I bought a home pregnancy kit. It turns out my house is pregnant. We're thrilled, we're having a shed." Now if you find that joke funny, then you'll love Jimmy Carr. He's been on the stand-up circuit for some years now (yes, he does do more than just telly), and this is his 4th concert DVD, so he's really got his charming, smarmy act down pat. I saw Carr in Edinburgh a few years ago, and he's bloody funny live. His barbs are always sharp, and his delivery is always perfect. Watching the performance on DVD is almost as good as being there. Nobody does disgusting, offensive jokes with a straight face better than Carr. Extras include Carrtoons (animations based on some of Carr's material), Carrtoons Comic Strip (err, comic strips based on Carr jokes) and subtitles in different "languages" — Queen's English, Australian (where ever other word is bloody), Glaswegian, Welsh, Polish and Scouse. So there's hours of extra entertainment watching it again in each language. — Stuart O'Connor
Felicity ** (Stars Glory Annen, Joni Flynn, Chris Milne, Jody Hanson, Marilyn Rodgers, Gordon Chareles, John Michael Howson; £14.99; UK cert 18) Watching this is like looking through a time capsule from a more relaxed, permissive era. Felicity is a 1978 Aussie soft-core skin flick about a teenage girl's sexual awakening on holiday in Hong Kong. Felicity Robinson is portrayed by Glory Annen, a 26-year-old Canadian actress playing an Australian schoolgirl with an English accent. So it ticks all the right boxes for realism. As does voiceover dialogue like: "I felt a warm tingling in my most secret place." The 70s were full of sexually-enlightened films, such as Last Tango in Paris, The Story of O and Emanuelle, and Felicity floows along in exactly the same vein. So, what have I learnt from watching Felicity? 1) In the 70s, teenage girls were always horny; 2) In the 70s, you were allowed to smoke on planes; 3) In the 70s, Hong Kong had almost no traffic; 4) In the 70s, girls didn't shave or wax their pubes; 5) In the 70s, everybody was getting laid; 6) In the 70s, all girls swung both ways 7) In the 70s, foreplay consisted of saying to a girl: "Wanna fool around?" A cultural curiosity, Felicity is the kind of film that's probably best enjoyed by teenage boys having their own sexual awakening. And paedophiles. Extras include an audio commentary with director John Lamond and star Glory Annen, a stills gallery and the trailer. — Stuart O'Connor
Vanessa ** (Olivia Pascal, Anton Diffring, Uschi Zech, Günter Clemens, Eva Eden, Henry Heller, Eva Leuze, Astrid Boner; £14.99; UK cert 18) Another 70s soft-core porn flick, also set in Hong Kong. But this one's from Germany — and dubbed into English, rather than subtitled. Probably to make it easier to ogle all the naked flesh on offer. Vanessa was raised in a convent after the death of her parents, but has to travel to Hong Kong to collect an inheritance after an uncle dies. There, she has a sexual awakening. And yes, there is plenty of lesbian sex and unshaved pubes. But can someone explain what it was with those high-backed whicker chairs in 70s soft-core flicks? They all seemed to have them. It must be said that star Olivia Pascal is absolutely beautiful in this film, and she gets naked quite a lot. But she's now almost 60, so I can't see her doing anything like this again. As with Felicity, this is more of an historical curiosity than anything else. Extras: High Life in Hong Kong, which is interviews with director Hubert Frank and director of photography Franz Lederle; a behind-the-scenes featurette called Vanessa Revealed; and the theatrical trailer.r. — Stuart O'Connor
The Colour of Magic ** (Stars David Jason, Sean Astin, Tim Curry, Jeremy Irons, James Cosmo, Janet Suzman, David Bradley, Nigel Planer, the voice of Christopher Lee; £19.99; UK cert PG) After the success of Sky’s adaptation of Hogfather, for Christmas last year they turned their attention to Terry Pratchett’s first two books, The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic. On the page, while predictably not to the standard of Pratchett’s later works, these are two fun, witty and exciting reads. Thanks to Sky, some glorious miscasting, Tim Curry’s customary scenery chewing and Vadim "how does he still have a career?" Jean’s direction, it’s an underpowered romp that’s virtually free of laughs. Post-turkey, it might have seemed acceptable entertainment. For 20 quid though? I don’t think so. No extras — Neil Davey
Dead Set **** (Stars Jaime Winstone, Andy Nyman, Kevin Eldon, Riz Ahmed, Davina McCall; £19.99; UK cert 18) If you missed it when it was broadcast on the UK's E4 (or you don't happen to live in the UK), now is your chance to catch up with the best zombie dramedy in ... well, possibly ever. TV critic and Guardian newspaper columnist Charlie Brooker has written a very clever take on reality TV, our celebrity obsession and the mind-numbing effects of much of today's popular culture. But enough of the social satire, how does it stand up as a part of the zombie canon? I'm happy to report that the brilliant Mr Brooker passes with flying colours. Plotwise, it's pretty simple ... for some unknown reason, the dead are returning to life and chomping on the living. Unaware of what's going on in the outside world, though, are the contestants in the latest series of Big Brother. Until, that is, the zombie hordes come knocking at the door ... including UK BB presenter Davina McCall. Brooker makes use of the usual zombie rules and themes, alhough he goes for the faster zombies of 28 Days Later and the Dawn Of The Dead remake rather than the shambling undead of the George Romero classics. But when the end result is this good, that really doesn't matter. The zombies look brilliant, thanks to some great prosthetics and make-up work. It's probably the most violent and gory program ever broadcast on television in the UK; in fact, I think it's probably the first zombie TV show ever. It's not Shaun of the Dead, though. It's not that sweet and charming, it's very dark and gruesome. Dead Set is genuinely scary in places, but with plenty of hilarious moments to lighten the tone. It's probably the smartest show to appear on TV in quite some time. And it's got a brilliant conclusion. All I have to say to Brooker is: more, please. Extras include a few behind-the-scenes featurettes (on the visual effects, stunts and make-up, and a tour of the Big Brother house); interviews with director Yann Demange, creator Charlie Brooker, BB host Davina McCall and members of the cast; deleted and extended scenes. — Stuart O'Connor
The White Planet ** (Stars polar bears, wales, seals, caribou, wolves and walruses; £19.99; UK cert E) Another earnest documentary about the wildlife that lives in the Arctic regions, this time a Canadian/French co-production. So it's a film about how humanity is damaging the environment that these creatures live in, and so leading to their deaths. Including cute little seal pups. Which is kinda ironic, seeing as the Canadians are probably the world's biggest killers of seal pups. The White Planet contains a lot of familiar footage (especially of polar bears) and it lacks the narrative drive of earlier, better nature films. And the Enya-style soundtrack is also annoying. Watch it and feel guilty. Extras include a couple of making-of featurettes, interviews with the director and crew, and the theatrical trailer. — Stuart O'Connor
Still Game Christmas & Hogmanay Specials **** (Stars Ford Kiernan, Greg Hemphill & Mark Cox; £19.99; UK cert 12) The make-up might be awful but you’d have to be dead not to raise a laugh or two at Still Game. A spin off from Scottish sketch show Chewin’ The Fat, Still Game features Kiernan and Hemphill as Jack and Victor, cantankerous Glaswegian pensioners and neighbours, battling against the minutiae of modern life. It seems quite gentle – it’s some way off the anger of Harry & Paul’s pensioners – but dig deeper. Underneath the regular lovely lines and wry observation, there’s a surprisingly dark streak. This collection covers – obviously! – the Christmas and Hogmanay specials. And compared to other long running series that do the festive spin off thing, these are borderline classics. No extras — Neil Davey
Monty Python's Flying Circus: The Complete Series 1-4 Box Set **** (Stars Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin, several sheep and a herring; £44.99; UK cert 12) And now for something completely ... the same. It's yet another rerelease for all the original Python TV shows that ran in the early 1970s. Bugt so what. This stuff if priceless and timeless comedy that has often been imitated but never bettered. Everybody has their favourite sketch, and everyone knows all the classics — The Spanish Inquisition, the Dead Parrot, Ministry of Silly Walks, Spam, the Lumberjack Song, the Cheese Shop, the Argument Clinic and Bicycle Repairman. The Pythons themselves have gone on to become British national treasures. Except for one, who went on to die. And they have certainly influenced dozens of comedians that have come aong since these shows were made. This is some of the best comedy ever to come out of the UK. Extras: a deleted sketch (called Politically Incorrect) plus three featurettes — Before the Flying Circus, Monty Python Conquers America and Animated Gilliam. — Stuart O'Connor
Tim Vine: So I Said To This Bloke **** (£19.99; UK cert PG) The one time world record holder for the most jokes told in an hour, 60 minutes in Tim Vine’s company is about as good a tonic as you’ll ever receive. Yes, the jokes are silly ("I’ve just got new blue eyes and a new blonde wig – I’m saving them for a special caucasian") but they’re so relentless you can’t help but laugh. Delightful. Extras: This is quite the all round package, from "Tim’s Dad Tells A Joke" to deleted scenes, a video for one of his ditties, a Flag Hippo In Love featurette (long story), the Parade of Sport spoof ... and more. — Neil Davey
Derren Brown: The Specials *** (Stars Derren Brown; £29.99; UK cert 15) For those who don't know, Derren Brown is a British magician, psychological illusionist and mentalist. Which, in layman's terms, means he's a professional mindfucker. He's worked as a stage magican and hypnitist, and began his TV career on the UK's Channel 4 in 2000, with a series called Mind Control. This new release is a collection of four of Brown's one-off television specials: The Heist, The System, Séance and Russian Roulette. In The Heist, he uses his motivational skills to try to pursuade a group of volunteers to pull of an armoured car robbery. The System is Brown's "100% guaranteeed" method for picking the winners of horse races. Seance is exactly what it says on the tin - Brown put together a seance, at a supposedly haunted location, that went live to air. And Russian Roulette is probably his most controversial programme, in which Brown had a carfully chosen volunteer secretly put a single bullet into a chamber of a revolver. Brown then put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. He says his ability to read and manipulate people meant there was never any danger. These four specials are all fascinating stuff, and Brown is a true showman. But you do have to wonder: just how much is real psychological manipulation, and how much is fakery? Watch these and judge for yourself. No extras — Stuart O'Connor