Week of 23 February 2009
The Girl in the Park **½ (Stars Sigourney Weaver, Kate Bosworth, Alessandro Nivola, Keri Russell, David Rasche, Elias Koteas; £15.99; UK cert 12) Films about lost kids are always so tragic. This slow-mover of a feature film aches its way through the overwhelming grief of Julia (Weaver) since losing her 3 year-old daughter Maggie in the park 16 years ago. Her emotions still raw, she refuses to join in or enjoy her remaining child, Chris’ (Nivola) accomplishments, as he is set to marry and become a father. And then comes Louise (Bosworth). Adopted, outrageous, street-smart and ruggedly beautiful Louise, who Julia is uncontrollably drawn to - addicted to. A tantalising, lingering is-she-isn’t-she ensues, as Julia desperately, hopelessly allows herself to see Louise as Maggie, much to the despair of her son. An odd one to quantify, there’s nothing overtly wrong with this film. The plot dictates its slow pace, and the casting was impeccable – the first and only film I’ve ever rated Bosworth’s performance in, and more flawless acting from Nivola. But one's inability to warm to Weaver as she coldly turns her back time after time on her son, knocks the reward at the end when she is left with some kind of peace. Probably a grower, but otherwise a slightly awkward, highly emotionally charged film which repeats on you for a few hours after finishing. No Extras — Jo Wood
Turtles Are Surprisingly Fast Swimmers **½ (Stars Juri Ueno, Yu Aoi, Ryo Iwamatsu, Eri Fuse, Jun Kaname, Masato Ibu, Yutaka Matsushige; £14.99; UK cert 12) Japanese filmmaking is strikingly inventive, even when, in cases such as Turtles Are Surprisingly Fast Swimmers, it doesn’t manage quirky quite as well as it’d like to. Writer-director Miki Satoshi’s movie comes on like Amelie: loveable female lead, flashy visual tricks and a supporting cast providing emotional resonance. Suzume, aka Sparrow, is a bored housewife whose husband is overseas on business. She only hears from him when he calls to ask after the wellbeing of his beloved turtle, Taro. So, when Suzume spots an ad looking for wannabe spies she thinks it could be her ticket to a more exciting life – it is, just not in the way she first thought. Funny and engaging Turtles … is a light, fluffy experience with perhaps one too many oddball characters to make you really fall in love with it. Extras: Theatrical trailer, and that’s yer lot. — Robert Hull
Babysitter Wanted ** (Stars Sarah Thompson, Matt Dallas, Bruce Thomas, Bill Moseley, Nana Visitor; £15.99; UK cert 18) Sweet, religious young Angie goes off to college. And gets the nagging feeling that someone is watching her, and following her — and she learns that several girls have been murdered or gone missing. To make some money, she answers an ad for a babysitter at a remote farmhouse. Babysitting young Sam one night, she's plagued by strange phone calls and strange sounds. And just when you think you're watching a conventional slasher film, there comes a twist which, if you watch enough of these kinds of films, you would have seen coming. Plenty of clues if you pay attention. Pretty run of the mill torture porn scenario, but it's not as gory as it could be. And there are, of course, the usual false endings. Extras: Just a behind-the-scenes featurette. — Stuart O'Connor
The Venture Brothers: Season 1 **** (Stars the voices of Christopher McCulloch, James Urbaniak, Patrick Warburton, Michael Sinterniklaas, Doc Hammer; £19.99; UK cert 15) More clever, animated laughs from the mob at [adult swim]. Probably best summed up as a snide, cynical take on the 60s cartoon Johnny Quest and its ilk, it's the story of a self-centred scientist, his two idiot sons (Hand and Dean) and their awesome bodyguard. Ah yes, awesome bodyguard Brock Samson, voiced by Warburton (best known as Puddy on Seinfeld, and the voice of Joe on Family Guy), is a quietly spoken, mullet wearing superman, a highly trained assassin with the body of Schwarzenegger and the love life of James Bond. Samson's main task, apart from cleaning up after Venture's blunders, is to protect the family from all sorts of nefarious villains - the main one being Monarch, a supervillain who bases his costume on a butterfly. Hmmm. The Venture Brothers is funny, absurd and very, very entertaining. And definitely not for kids. Extras: The original pilot (made in Flash); a special Christmas episode; audio commentaries on most of the episodes; deleted scenes; a behind-the-scenes of the Venture Brothers 'live action movie'; and a making-of featurette called Animating Hank and Dean.. — Stuart O'Connor
The 5th Commandment * (Stars Rick Yune, Keith David, Dania Ramirez; £15.99; UK cert 15) When gangsters kill his parents, young Chance (Yune) is taken care of by hitman Max “Coolbreeze” Templeton (David). Under his tutelage, Chance becomes a trained killer. Then one day, he’s given a contract involving his half-brother Miles who he thought was dead. Unable to carry out the killing, he instead goes to Miles’s aid in protecting singer Angel (Ramirez). What follows is a quite catastrophic collision of macho posturing, clichéd fight scenes, mindless violence, clunky dialogue and wooden performances (and yes, I mean you, Ms Ramirez). Witless, charmless, instantly forgettable and about 86 minutes too long. I’ve given it one star but that’s only because Dania Ramirez has such a pert derriere. Extras: Creating The Fifth Commandment (In spite of myself, I actually started to watch this. Yune explains that in the end he had to write the script because the writers’ prices were “exorbitant.” Er, yes Rick, that’s because they can write. He also explains that he went to business school and has no acting training whatsoever. You don’t say!), Stunts of The Fifth Commandment, Trailer. — Justin Bateman
The President’s Last Bang *** (Stars Jae-ho Song, Yun-shik Baek; £14.99; UK cert 15) Inspired by the events before and after the assassination of South Korean president Park Chung-hee in 1979, this deadpan comedy follows Korean CIA director Kim. Sick of the president’s penchant for drinking and escort girls, he hatches a plot to kill him and make it look like North Korean forces are to blame. Park Chung-hee’s son was less than delighted when the film was released and filed a lawsuit – some documentary footage featuring riots was cut, but has since been reinstated. It’s a well-made, watchable film, and there’s a clear introduction setting out the background historical information for those not in the know. Extras: There’s a 20-minute interview with director Sang-soo Im, which rather bizarrely kicks off with text apologising for the fact that, when they filmed the interview, they had technical problems recording the sound. Given it’s subtitled anyway, with music playing in the background, this isn’t really going to be a problem for non-speakers of Korean, but you’ve got to wonder why they didn’t re-record it. The interview is pretty interesting, although the music is quite irritating. Aside from that, you get a trailer for this film and a bunch of other titles. — Anne Wollenberg
Tuesday *** (Stars Philip Glenister, Ashley Walters, Cristian Solimeno, Kevin McNally, John Simm, Kate Magowan; £12.99; UK cert 15) A decent little British bank-heist film that is occasionally a little to twisty for its own good. Much of the film takes place in flashback during the police interrogation of all those involved in three robberies — of the same bank — all taking place on the same day, with the ultimate goal being a huge emerald. The low budget shows, and some of the dialogue is a big naff, but it's worth a look. Extras: Audio commentary with witer/director Sacha Bennett; a gag reel; a making-of featurette; and the trailer. — Stuart O'Connor
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Week of 9 February 2009
The Foot Fist Way * (Stars Danny McBride, Ben West, Mary-Jane Bostic, Ken Aguilar, Tyler Baum, Sean Baxter, Bruce Cameron, Jody Hill; £12.99; UK cert 15) After suffering through this pile of drivel, I had to re-read the press release that accompanied the review disc — and the 'poster quotes' thereupon. "High kicking hilarity: Zoo." "Kick ass laughs: Loaded." "Painfully funny: MTV." That got me wondering — had those reviewers seen a completley different film to the one I had? Or had they been smoking crack before watching it? Because The Foot Fist Way is dull, tedious, unfunny and just downright awful. McBride plays Fred Simmons, a small-town loser who runs a Tae Kwon Do academy. Whose wife cheats on him. So they split. Then they get back together. Then Fred gets to meet his hero, a martial arts film star that's an obvious Chuck Norris pisstake — and so his wife cheats on him again. With the film star. The end. The one redeeming feature this film has is as a cure for insomnia, because it certainly won't keep you up laughing. Extras: A blooper reel (that has more laughs in its few minutes than in the entire film); deleted scenes; interviews with a few of the guilty parties; and the theatrical trailer. Yippee. — Stuart O'Connor
Hit and Run ** (Stars Laura Breckenridge, Kevin Corrigan, Christopher Shand; £15.99; UK cert 18) There was an infamous news story (and subsequent court case) back in 2001 revolving around a woman who hit a homeless man with her car and then left him to die, stuck in her windshield. This particularly nasty tale about the lows to which we humans are capable of, seems to have inspired Hollywood minds and pockets. In 2007 we had Mena Suvari and Stephen Rea’s Stuck and now we have Hit and Run, which is most definitely the weakest of the pair. The plot, in case you haven’t guessed, revolves around Mary, a drunken girl who drives home one night, swerves into some trees and later gets home to find she has a dying man stuck to her bumper. There’s some business revolving around a golf club, a shallow grave and an idiot boyfriend and before long Mary is being stalked by someone who clearly knows who she did. This implausible tale is made worse with a bad script, both visual and narrative plot holes and the interpretation that bipolar equals crazed murderer. Breckenridge does put in a fairly good performance as Mary, although director Enda McCallion does try to get her in a tiny, damp T-shirt as much as possible. The cinematography is actually quite decent as well (which is why this review gets two stars and not one) but it’s wasted on a daft story. Hit and Run is not only late to the party, it’s rolled in stinking of booze, thrown up on the living room carpet and passed out in the dog basket. No extras — Rhianna Pratchett
The Pink Panther * (Blu-ray; Stars Steve Martin, Kevin Kline, Jean Reno, Beyonce Knowles, Emily Mortimer, Kristin Chenoweth; £17.99; UK cert 12) Steve Martin should be thoroughly ashamed of himself with the way he has desecrated - nay, shat upon - the memory of the great Peter Sellers. Not only does Martin do a poor imitation of Sellers with his portrayal of Inspector Clouseau, he even had a hand in the writing of this unfunny mess. A French "soccer" coach is murdered and the pink panther diamond is stolen. Incompetent Clouseau is brought in to "solve" the case; but, of course, Chief Inspector Dreyfuss (Kline, in the role made famous by Herbert Lom) expects Clouseau to screw things up, so that he can swoop in and save the day. It's just an awful full, devoid of humour and with cringeworthy performances all around - particularly from Reno and Mortimer, both of whom should know better. Extras: An audio commentary with director Shawn Levy; Code Pink: animated graphics-in-picture track; a Beyonce music video for Check On It; deleted scenes; three "making-of" featurettes; sleuth cams; an extended Beyonce performance of A Woman Like Me. — Stuart O'Connor
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Week of 2 February 2009
The Cosby Show: Season 4 *** (Stars William H Cosby Jr, Phylicia Rashad, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Sabrina Le Beauf, Keshia Knight Pulliam, Tempestt Bledsoe; £27.99; UK cert PG) Hugely popular in the 1980s, it's kinda strange looking back at The Cosby Show now. For a start, its corny, cloying sweetness and niceness partly inspired the brilliant Seinfeld, with its 'no hugs, no learning' mantra. And none of the actors who played the kids have really gone on to do much. In case you've never seen it, the series is all about the everyday life of a normal upper-middle class African-American family — Dr Cliff Huxtable (Cosby), his wife Clair (Rashad) and their five children — living in their Brooklyn brownstone. Well, in Season 4 there are only three children left at home. Eldest daughter Sondra (Le Beauf) is married, and now lives with hubby. And the main reason that I had for ever watching the show, the stunning Lisa Bonet, had by this stage left the show (for her own spin-off series, A Different World), but she does pop up in a couple of episodes — one a flashback, that laziest of sitcom devices; the other one seeing her character, Denise, visiting from college for a weekend. So the other three kids — Theo, Vanessa and little cutey Rudy — got all the attention, for a change. The comedy is always safe — there's no swearing, and no real 'issues' are tackled — but The Cosby Show is one of the most successful sitcoms in the history of TV, dominating the ratings for most of its 8-year run. In short bursts it's still kinda OK, and Cosby's schtick — so brilliantly lampooned in Family Guy — does raise the occasional chuckle. But this release is really one for hardcore fans only. The highlight for me: a very young (and green) Adam Sandler guest starring in several episodes as a high school chum of Theo's. No Extras, as is usual with Universal/Playback TV series releases in the UK. — Stuart O'Connor
Roadkill 2: Dead Ahead * (Nicki Aycox, Nick Zano, Kyle Schmid, Laura Jordan, Mark Gibbon; £15.99; UK cert 18) Yet another clichéd and hideously predictable vehicle for slicing up American teenagers, as the mad trucker is once again pitted against the nubile and the stupid. The original was so-so, but even a decent amount of extras can’t save the sequel from being a no-no. — Rhianna Pratchett