Reviewed by Ariane Sherine
Featuring David "C Diddy" Jung, Dan "Björn Türoque" Crane,
Zac "The Magnet" Monro, Ian "The Red Plectrum" Stafford,
Mark "Roxy McStagger" Hadfield, Brian May
Produced by Dan Cutforth, Jane Lipsitz & Anna Barber
UK certification 15 | UK RRP £15.99
DVD Region 2 | Runtime 82 minutes
Directed by Alexandra Lipsitz
A quasi-rockumentary about a bunch of middle-class men who have clearly never had sex, Air Guitar Nation follows the triumphs and trials of the pointless virtual Hendrixes taking part in the World Air Guitar Championships, as they devote their time, money and dignity to maiming invisible stringed instruments. Narrated by accounts from likeable faux-musicians including “C-Diddy”, “Björn Türoque”, “Tobinator”, “Magnet”, “The Shred”, “Red Plectrum” and countless other pseudonyms which say firmly, “I have a huge penis”, this fast-paced homage to self-delusion is resolutely enjoyable and funny, if a little worrying.
With straight-faced references to “air guitar ideologies” including “if everyone were to carry an air guitar in their hands, they wouldn’t have any room for a gun or a rifle” (are you sure, dear?) and pretentious sixth-form proclamations such as “it’s airness — I can’t really explain it”, as well as allusions to “the sport”, it’s hard to know whether many of the soundbites are tongue-in-cheek or bona fide mental. But Oscar Wilde-worthy lines such as “Björn Türoque should move to France and become Björn Toulouse”, and the eponymous performer’s quip, “People often ask me, ‘Why air guitar?’ and to that I say, ‘To err is human — to air guitar, divine’” will appeal to even the most hardened air guitar-hater, despite the prevailing sense of “What the fuck are they doing?”
The interviews are intercut with air guitar competition performances to stomping noodly tracks, featuring backflips, chest graffiti (“make air not war”), ill-advised nudity and risible bodily movements (C-Diddy perpetually appears to be performing oral sex on a ghost). The demented audience reactions rival those of a true rock crowd, with groupies begging the fake guitarists to sign their breasts, and effusive fans soliciting kisses — which is rock music to the ears of the performers, who are mostly failed wannabe axe heroes. As Bjorn Turoque poignantly admits, “I’m never going to be on the cover of Rolling Stone… I don’t know if [air guitar] will ever be as satisfying as being in a successful band, but that’s not happening, right? So in lieu of that, I’ll take what I can get.” He might take consolation from the fact that band documentaries are rarely as entertaining as this.
EXTRAS *** A commentary track with Zac "The Magnet" Monro and Dan "Björn Türoque" Crane, and a featurette called Out for the Count: At the UK Air Guitar Championships with "Count Rockula".