Reviewed by Janina Conboye
Stars Flora Montgomery, Nicholas Aaron, Daniel Caltagirone, Madison Cunningham,
Elissa Edmands Frankowski, Ava Mareau Garcia, | Written by Kevin Miller & David L Cunningham
UK certification 18 | UK RRP £17.99 | DVD Region 2 | Runtime 76 minutes | Directed by David L Cunningham
After ... mmm ... after what exactly? I'm really not quite sure. Seventy-six minutes doesn't seem like a long time, but watch this dross and it'll feel like the longest 76 minutes of your life.
This film is nothing short of boring and about as thrilling as a Londoner's daily commute to work — or perhaps those of you who do commute into the city have a thrilling journey? Although, I'm guessing it's unlikely. The film is supposed to be about a couple grief stricken over the death of their young son. Nate (Caltagirone) jets off with his wife Adrian (Montgomery) and her brother Jay (Aaron) to have a bash at some urban exploration — or perhaps one might call it potholing city style, which involves investigating areas not designed for public use. But strange things can happen in the dark ... woooooooh (Just to clarify, that's a ghost noise).
Their journey takes them down into the underground of Moscow, through Ivan the Terrible's torture chambers and Stalin's Metro-2 subway system and as they get deeper underground, it seems their descent may not be just a physical one, with their minds starting to play very funny tricks indeed. As the stress of their challenge and the issues they're trying to run away from begin to take their toll, the lines between fantasy and reality become dangerously blurred. This is where I quite frankly, just lost the plot. Firstly, let's take this so-called urban version of potholing: why put yourself in inevitable danger on purpose for fun? I'm afraid I have a monumental failure in understanding this way of thinking, even for the purposes of film. I find any hobby of this kind completely uninteresting, so I guess I was never really going to like it.
Secondly, the amateur special effects, which I suspect were supposed to look like something from a computer game, a virtual reality if you will, were like something from a sixth form media project. If it was a sixth form media project, then A*, this kid has potential, but otherwise it's a flop. Thirdly, let's look at the history. Yes, there is no doubt that Stalin was an absolute shit, who got up to all sorts of disgusting and gut-wrenching activities in the secret Moscow underground, but apparently Ivan the Terrible, according to some historical evidence may not have been as terrible as most seem to think. In Russian history he is often associated with might, power and strictness, rather than poor performance, horror or cruelty. It's £17.99, so if you really feel the need to watch it, it won't be too long before it's in the bargain bucket, so maybe wait it out just a little longer. I know this film is someone's project, their little baby, and they love doing it, but not everyone who likes film making is necessarily all that good at it. And what's more, the actors weren't all that bad either, it was just a naff concept all round.
EXTRAS None